


Know Where We Belong

by bythelightofthenight



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, M/M, nathan's an actor n monty is in an all gay n trans band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 17:54:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12237798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bythelightofthenight/pseuds/bythelightofthenight
Summary: “So how many people have you brought here on a date, heartthrob?” Monty asks, watching him over the rim of his wine glass in a way that makes Nathan's insides twist in a good, good way.“One”, he says truthfully.“One besides me or just... one?”“That's for me to know and not to tell you.”





	Know Where We Belong

**Author's Note:**

> umm .. here we are .. back again .. in this pit. feels great
> 
> in a very? me-manner this is like.. random clippings that tie together n build up to an unnecessary sex scene. you know the deal. i'm always trying to get over some mental block n then i write a dumb scene, internalize all that shit n call it a day. kudos
> 
> but actually the story here is that chris who plays monty dropped an album too long ago that i've been in this fandom n i actually still listen to it bc it's chill it's v calming. so this was always out there
> 
> i already wanna thank peyton who will undoubtedly make me feel better about this

His manager walks into the room, stepping between him and his laptop like he doesn't have a video playing. Nathan looks up at her slowly. 

“Yes?” 

“Couple of question changes”, Clarke says, eyes on her tablet as per usual. 

“I'm going in in like ten minutes.” 

“I'd say get used to it, but you already should be.” Clarke taps the screen a few times. 

Behind her still playing, the man laughs, talking animatedly. “I did have to go back to taking singing lessons. I loved it! I was finding my real voice and it was exciting to learn how to use it.” 

“First. The question on everyone's mind, blah blah, heartthrob, yada yada, how's the love life.”

“You're kidding me.” 

“You're gonna have to answer sooner than later. Just go with it. Little flirty. Standard job.”

“What else?”

“Questions about Luna. Again, indirect, will they won't they. You know the drill.” 

“What about the... What about Bell’s charity?” 

“It's cut. Keeping it light. Alright?” 

The video comes to an end. Nathan stares at the frozen smiles on the screen while agreeing numbly. 

“Good. I'll talk to you afterwards. Go get ‘em.” 

Clarke leaves in her typical whirlwind way. She's nothing if not efficient. Possibly a robot. Nathan's not come to a final conclusion just yet. 

As the stagehand comes to fetch him, he's settling the questions in his mind. Systematic, automatic, unfeeling. Behind the curtain he listens to his introduction. 

“Ladies and gentlemen. Tonight. The star of what has already been described as ‘the action film of the year’. The lead man of the _Auction_. Please welcome. Nathan Miller!” 

He walks out. Smile trained. 

\--

The butterflies in his stomach are out of control. He's sitting in his car, dark, tinted windows as his cover, outside of Monty's apartment building. He's perfectly on time - nervously early - and Monty's just texted him back he'll be down in a minute. 

He can handle this. 

Monty steps outside in a halo of hallway lighting, and Nathan forgets about his nerves for a moment. He's dressed in a button-up shirt and a cardigan of all things. He looks like a cute TA or what he assumes cute TA’s would've looked like had he gone to college. 

The car gets a good look. It's not flashy, but it is a nice car. 

“I like your car”, is what Monty says as he takes a seat, grinning at him. “Very sexy.”

Nathan finds himself blushing forcefully. He wishes it would've taken more words but what can you do. “Thanks.” 

“So you admit you know it's sexy?” 

He wrinkles his nose. “Can you stop saying the word sexy?” 

“What do I call you then?”

His mouth drops open. Actually. “Wow.”

“Too much?”

“I'll let you know.” 

Monty calls him many things throughout the night. They sit in the private booth of the nice but not too much restaurant for several hours, and Nathan finds he's. Relaxed. 

“So how many people have you brought here on a date, heartthrob?” Monty asks, watching him over the rim of his wine glass in a way that makes Nathan's insides twist in a good, good way. 

“One”, he says truthfully. 

“One besides me or just... one?”

“That's for me to know and not to tell you.”

“I see how it is.” Monty's smile is brilliant. Like many other parts of him. Nathan chases it like a high that he only pays for with the tightness of his chest. 

It feels too soon when it's time to leave. Monty's still talkative, in a warm way. Maybe he doesn't notice it himself, but back in the car, the silence that falls is deafening. 

“Thank you for... doing this with me”, he manages finally. 

“Of course! How could've I said no --” 

Nathan's face falls without his permission. Monty scrambles to correct himself, reaching over the handbrake to touch his arm. 

“That sounded bad. I meant. How could've I said no because you're so sweet and also really pretty. _Wow_ , this isn't going great.” 

Nathan takes his hand in his. “You're fine. So. Thank you.” 

“You're welcome.” 

They watch each other for a moment. Monty's thumb strokes the back of his hand. As he starts the car, he can still feel the weight of it on his. 

Most of the windows in the building have already turned in for the night. Nathan watches the front door to not stare at Monty too much. There's a static of expectation between them and he doesn't know what to do. 

“I really did have a good time.”

“Good.” Time's running out. “Me too.”

“Good night, Nathan.” 

“Good night, Monty.” It's too late. 

Monty steps out of the car. Nathan watches him go. Two steps. Four. He's out the door by the fifth. 

Monty turns around. Nathan stops right in front of him. 

“Can I kiss you? I mean - I'm not reading this wrong, am I? God, uh, do you mind if I --”

Monty's already nodding. He takes Nathan's hands to his waist and clasps at his elbows as they come together. Their lips brush lightly at first, getting used to the sensation. Monty draws him in, robs him of breath, sinks him in his embrace. 

“Will you come in?”

“Yes.” 

“Your car might get towed.”

“I don't care.”

Monty laughs. “Well, I do. Come on. There's a spot right over there.” 

Nathan grumbles but follows him. 

\-- 

“Oh my god. It's _so_ good to meet you! I loved you in --”

Nathan spots Bellamy approaching him through the crowd. The party is contained, packed, he's claustrophobic. Joining Bellamy allows him to disengage and flee. 

“How much longer do we gotta stay, man?” 

“You gotta start making connections.”

“Will that get me home sooner?” 

Bellamy cups his cheek. “No.” 

In those moments he's ready to break a six-year friendship just to get some peace, but they are fleeting and he would never survive without Bellamy. He's still not used to parties not being actual celebrations but like meetings. He's had his resume memorized for years so it's no problem. 

“Fine. Introduce me. But only for another half an hour.” 

“I've got you.” 

They move around. Bellamy talks. He nods and smiles. 

“Oh my god. It's _so_ nice to meet you! I'm a huge fan.”

“Oh! Thanks --”

“I'm actually an actor too. Just starting out, looking for --”

\--

It's getting late. He's buzzed if not a touch more. Bellamy's performing an intense version of _Summer Nights_ with his friend Harper. He's taken turning 30 relatively well. He's only about half as drunk as Nathan had presumed. 

He moves to the bar to get water for the birthday boy. Instead, he gets bumped into. He feels the light splash on his shoes. 

“Shit! I'm sorry! It's just water though!” 

Nathan's brain slowly places him as a friend of Harper’s. What he really is, is cute. 

“Don't worry about it.” 

“I kinda have to. People around here have some ridiculously expensive shoes.” 

He laughs, and the man grins back at him. 

“I'm Monty.” 

“Nathan.” 

“Yeah, I know. Your face is in a lot of billboards. It's a good face, though.”

“Right.”

“Can I get you something to make up for watering your possibly expensive shoes?” 

“I was just getting water for the man of the hour.”

“No shit! This was for the lady making a lot of noise with the man of the hour.” Monty holds up his cup, nearly spilling more. “Oops.” 

“Let me give you a hand.”

\--

“Hi. Nathan.”

“Oh, hey.”

Luna sits next to him on the couch with a sigh. She's become his friend, more or less, during their time filming together, the promotional and premiere seasons, through their fake dating appearances. Being able to trust someone does make it easier. 

“How are you doing?”

“Filming starts next week.” It's an answer enough. 

“Good luck.”

“Thanks. You?”

“I've got a few weeks.” She lets out a yawn. “You ready for our last hurrah?” 

Nathan's chuckles. “Sure. Where are we heading?” 

“Dinner. Have you practiced your ‘we might have just broken up’ face?” 

“I think that's my face, naturally.”

“Better not to quit your day job, kid. Oh wait.”

He pushes her away while she cackles. 

\--

“You nervous?”

He turns to Raven to make a face at her before looking back out the window. “No. Yes.”

“That's the spot.” 

The car pulls up at the venue, and Nathan's nerves are killing him. He thanks his driver and they step out. Raven attracts eyes like always, but it's not too crowded outside. They get in without much hassle. 

The bar’s not very big. It's exclusive enough, but not too expensive to be stiff. There's a band on stage, and it sparks up his nerves even more. 

“Drinks, yeah?”

“Please.” He takes Raven’s arm as they're escorted to the restricted area.

They're seated when the first band finishes the warm up. “Now give it up for Delinquency!”

He hasn't been to many concerts since his teenage years, and while still considering himself not that old, the cheers catch him off guard. He simultaneously misses being able to get lost in a crowd and make a fool of himself, and is happy to be secluded. None of it stays in focus when Monty comes on stage. 

They've gone out a few times. He's not sure... what they are. It's terrible. He wants to know _exactly_ how Monty feels about him. It’s terrible. 

Nathan doesn't look away from Monty for many seconds throughout the night. He's energetic, magnetic, gorgeous. While not immune to a few musician crushes in his past, Nathan thinks he's never found playing the guitar quite so sexy. 

He knows several songs by heart. He can't help it; he's great at memorizing things and listening to Monty's voice makes him think of him. And therefore fluttery. By the end of the night he's still jittery and also slightly turned on. 

They head backstage. Before even making the dressing room, Monty walks into them. 

“Hey! Amazing show”, Raven gives him a hug. 

“Thank you! I'm so glad you could make it.” He's looking straight at Nathan. 

“I'm gonna go say hi to Harper and the others. You two... catch up when you can.” 

“Okay”, Monty says. He's still staring right at him. “See ya.”

“Hi.” Nathan moves a touch closer. 

“Hi. You came.”

“Of course I did.”

Monty moves closer to him. Nathan glances around. There's still employees circling the area. He takes Monty's hand and pulls him into the first dark corner he can find. Those few seconds are already almost too much without Monty's lips on his. 

Monty's skin is hot and sticky under his hands and he can't have enough. He clutches at his neck, other hand fisted in the back of his shirt. Monty's less subtle with his hands on his ass. 

“I know... I said you should meet... everyone... but can we leave right now?” Monty gets out in between kisses. 

“Next time”, Nathan agrees. 

He checks his phone as they're leaving. There's a text from Raven that reads: 

“Have fun. Car’s outside.” 

\--

He gets out of the makeup trailer, his script, bottle of water and phone in hand. It’s relatively quiet by the trailers and he doesn’t have to be on set for a while now. So he heads over to the fence by the parking lot, where several people are standing around. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey! Hi! Wow. Hi.” 

He holds back a laugh as the girl behind the fence peers at him with a bright smile. “Hi. How are you?”

“I’m good. Great. Because you’re here.” 

“Hey. Is Anya here?” another girl asks. 

“Huh?”

“Is Anya here? Your co-star. Who is carrying this movie on her gorgeous shoulders.”

“Ah. Sadly, not today. Just me.” 

“Oh well. Could you then sign this for my mom. She’s said several times she would leave my mama for you so... Watch yourself.” 

“Wow, okay. I’ll... keep it brief.” 

“And can you please take a picture with my friend before she blacks out from hyperventilating.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

He signs the card (“Is ‘with love’ too much?”) and takes the picture. A couple more people want to chat with him. It’s nice, makes it feel less like isolation. 

\--

It's a habit he picked up very soon after meeting Monty. He listened to the music first, but when it wasn't enough, he started looking for interviews. Monty's voice, his laugh. He's calmed, grounded. 

It's a habit he planned on keeping a secret. Until Monty sees his YouTube history. 

“Have you... seen like every interview I've done?” 

“Maybe. I don't know.”

Monty grins, turning to look at him over his shoulder. “That's fine. I've done some googling myself.”

He doesn't seem to get it. Nathan watches the expanse of his back, the rise and fall of his breaths. He looks good in Nathan's bed, wearing his shirt. 

“What did you look up about me?”

“Obviously I tried to find all the gay rumors. Then your net worth, of course.”

He can tell Monty's joking, but it still makes him think. Lying down next to him on the bed, he reaches for Monty's hand. 

“Anything that would've made you not go out with me?” 

“Nothing like that exists about you.” Monty lies back, turning to him. “I was kidding.”

“I know.” He brings Monty's knuckles to his lips. “I didn't watch the videos to stalk you.”

“No?”

“I watch them because it makes me feel better. Seeing you.” 

“Oh.” 

“Is that weird?”

“No. I mean, does it make me wanna cry? Sure. But not weird.” Monty wriggles closer to catch his lips in a kiss. “You're such a romantic.”

“Not on purpose.”

“Even better.” He gets another kiss. “Which one’s your favorite?” 

“The one where you talk about writing about personal things. About your journey to join the band. But also all the ones where you laugh a lot. Because I love hearing you laugh.” 

Monty takes a shaky breath. They stare at each other for a while. 

“Because I love... you.”

Monty smiles beautifully, his eyes crinkling nearly shut with the force of it. He rests a hand on Nathan's neck. “I love you too.” 

They lie there in each other’s space. He wants to stay there forever, without his phone ringing or Monty getting called in for rehearsal. But those things aren't possible, now. 

\--

“Yo, Miller. You're up.” 

He gets up from his trailer’s couch and follows Connor to the set. They've been filming at a beach location for three weeks, slowly nearing the end. It's not as wonderful as he'd dreamed. He's stuck on set for hours on end, only seeing the same stretch of sand, surrounded by a familiar crew. Anya talked him into sneaking out a few times and they got to see more of the nature and met more locals than so far on the whole trip. 

Still, they work away in the most beautiful scenery. He's not complaining. 

But in the early hours of the morning when he sees the missed calls from his dad, Monty and Bellamy, an old familiar loneliness starts creeping in. He lies in the hotel bed and thinks of how ridiculous it all is. He doesn't need all this. Maybe he'll quit. 

He loves to act. It was a haven to become someone else when he was afraid of being himself. The way it swept him up was nothing he could've predicted. 

His career as it is couldn't take all of him. It's not there for him as much as he'd like to believe in this day and age. Being himself openly will change the way he's perceived and the roles he's seen fit for. 

And frankly, he thinks he's fine with that. He's got to live in a bubble of heterosexual pretense and it's brought him all over the world, paid his bills and those of many others he's donated, gifted, vouched for. But it won't be worth it forever. Maybe it's selfish. Maybe he'll let it be. 

\--

In the past hours, he's nearly worn a trail into the floorboards of his room with his pacing. He's spent too many nights alone and waiting. The message he sent to Monty read nothing but the address to the hotel room he's in. 

He'd gotten home, tired and antsy, only to realize his boyfriend was still out of town. A shower was all he managed before heading out the door. 

The lock on the door goes and he's pulled out of his thoughts. Monty peeks inside, unsure only for a second before his eyes focus on him. 

“You didn't.”

Nathan shrugs, but Monty's already rushing across the room, enveloping him in a hug. 

“I missed you so much.” 

“I missed you too”, he tells the crook of Monty's neck. “How was the show?”

Monty leans back, his eyes bright. “It was incredible. There were these signs - you should've seen them. Oh! I should check if anyone's posted them so I can show you.” 

They end up cuddled on the bed, Monty scrolling through Instagram while he gets his lips acquainted with his neck again. Monty's free hand is just under the hem of his shirt, short nails scratching lightly at the hair below his belly button. 

“Oh, look at this one. These two girls had this sign. I told them we would _definitely_ come play at their wedding.” 

“Did you at least wait till after the song?” 

“Shut up.”

“You'd really do it, wouldn't you?” 

“Of course. If we can.” 

He has to kiss him then. His optimistic, generous, kind-hearted boyfriend. “You should comment on it.”

“You think?” 

“Couldn't hurt.” 

“I'll do it.” Despite the confirmation, he reaches over Nathan to set his phone on the nightstand. 

“Not now?”

“Now I'm busy.” Monty trails kisses over his jaw to catch his lips. Nathan melts into his touch. He pushes under Monty's shirt and feels for more skin. He knows each scar on the back of his shoulders, every ridge of his spine. 

“How're you feeling?” 

“Horny, dumbass.”

“Any nos?” 

“All yeses.” 

Nathan rolls his eyes but returns the kiss that's meant to shut him up. Monty tugs at his hips to align them with his. Wanting him is so comfortable, his desire a burning low heat with no frenzy. He'd go anywhere Monty took him. 

Monty gets his shirt off, and suddenly all he needs is to feel skin against skin. Monty laughs at him as he struggles to peel off his shirt without lifting himself up. It ends up in a heap on the floor somewhere. He shivers at the first contact, holding onto Monty tightly. 

He wants his lips everywhere, but it's too hard to separate from Monty's. Otherwise he might mouth down his chest, lay kisses on the scars around his nipples. Then scrape his teeth down the planes of his stomach and feel the muscles tense. 

“You didn't bring the strap, did you?” 

“I'm an idiot.” 

Monty giggles breathlessly. “Next time.” 

He gets lost in the thought of Monty's cock sliding into him, feeling the ghost of vibrations from his end, but just for a moment. Monty gives his ass a squeeze.

“What do you want?”

“Fingers maybe?”

“Maybe?”

“You want me to talk dirty?”

“Always, preferably.” Monty grins. 

“Nerd.”

“Yeah, yeah. Take off your clothes.” 

He kicks off his jeans and boxers once Monty's popped open the button and unzipped them. Monty kisses him again, keeping him close with his arms around his waist. He guides Nathan's leg over his hip and grinds into him. 

“Ouch.”

“Oops, sorry.” Monty swiftly opens his own jeans and pushes them down his legs. The cotton of his boxers is softer against his bare cock. He brushes the front of them lightly and Monty shudders. 

“You wanna get ‘em off?”

“Later. Doing you first.”

“Alright”, he chuckles. 

“Just got lotion.” 

“I don't care.” 

Monty reaches over him again and grabs the bottle. He slicks his fingers, but not before dropping some of the cool liquid on Nathan's side. He doesn't even bother to look sorry when Nathan gasps at the temperature, just massaging it into his skin. 

His fingers are slow but steady. “You got started already?”

“In the shower. So get to it, huh?” 

Monty gives him a kiss. “I missed you.” 

“You already told me that.” He nudges Monty's nose with his, earning another kiss. 

Monty doesn't answer, instead easing in a finger and continuing to kiss him. He gets soft, light kisses as he struggles to breathe while Monty takes him apart with ease. Their legs tangle tighter, his other thigh lodging between Monty's. The damp heat through his boxers makes Nathan's stomach drop completely. It's dragging him towards losing all control. 

The tender pressure on his prostate is enough to make it hard to concentrate on Monty pushing down his boxers. Monty's fingers are long and gorgeous. He's only a man. 

“Can I?” he asks. 

“Yes.” 

He slips a hand between Monty's legs. His whole body tenses at the touch of his fingers. The moan he lets out makes Nathan shiver. Monty grinds into his hand, his own palm coming over it to press on further. 

“Can you come just on my fingers?” Monty pants. 

All he manages is a nod. An enthusiastic one. Monty's lips are on his cheek. He adds more lotion, hands slippery. Nathan comes with his fingers curled around the head of his cock. 

Monty's hand stays on his ass after pulling out. He grinds on Nathan's thigh, the wet heat nearly enough to stir his cock again. With a groan, Monty stiffens as he comes, his body twitching weakly with the aftershocks. 

They stay close. Monty chuckles softly against his cheek. 

“You just booty called your own damn boyfriend.” 

“I have no regrets”, Nathan mumbles. 

\-- 

“Clarke?”

“Mhm?”

No movement to look away from her tablet. 

“You ever been in love?” 

To his surprise, her eyes cloud over, and for a moment she's somewhere far away. “Once.”

“You ever just wanna tell the whole world?”

She's quickly back to herself. “No.” 

“No?”

“I chose my career.”

“Not both?”

“No.” 

\-- 

Monty jumps when he starts to talk, breaking the comfortable silence between them. He's been humming softly under his breath for a while while Nathan puts away clean laundry. “I think I wanna do the play.”

“Huh?” Monty sets down his guitar carefully, turning his focus solely on him. “The play? Really?”

“Yeah.” Nathan gets up and sits on the edge of the bed. Monty takes his hand as he reaches for it. 

“It's a gay play.”

“It is.” 

“You're sure?” 

“Yes.”

“It's a really good play.”

“I hope so.”

“It will be.” Monty squeezes his hand. “How did you decide?”

“I feel passionate about it. I feel excited about it. I don't wanna give up a chance just because I'm scared.” 

Monty's eyes are intense on him. “You're gonna do it, aren't you?”

“Eventually. If you're with me.” 

“I'm always with you.” 

His beautiful smile, Nathan's heart aches just a little. “I'm all clear till then. So I'll be home.” 

“See, I'm really loving this plan.”

“Me too.” 

\--

“Hi, I'm Harper.”

“I'm Roma.”

“I'm Jones.”

“And I'm Monty. And... we’re Delinquency.”

[cut]

“We're a band...”

[cut]

“We started out about seven years ago. Monty and I met when we were volunteering for our local LGBT organization, and we really clicked.”

[cut]

“Our band is quite special because we're all trans and gay... Well Roma’s bi. But you get the idea.”

“You could say we're really _trans_ formative.”

“And... gay.”

[all but Monty groaning]

[cut]

“None of us are actually single at the moment. How the hell did that happen?” 

“Can you curse in this?”

“I don't know.”

[cut]

“Jones just got married last year.”

“We would've performed there but... Jones wouldn't stop crying.”

[cut]

“My boyfriend, Nathan, is... He's the best person I know.” 

“Hey!”

“How fucking dare you, Monty?”

“I'm sitting right here, Monty. Say it to my face.”

[Monty smiling at someone behind the camera]

[cut]

**Author's Note:**

> also yes it would be the coolest band in the world thanks also yes i've used that band name before in the the way he looks au


End file.
